Dream wedding...?

For inquiring minds, I bailed on the detox. And by that I mean I CHOSE to end it early. Life needed to relax and I needed to cut ties with the strict rules. I'd be lying if I said I had not/am not struggling a tinge to stay on the yellow brick road of Paleoness. Life happens, right?

Moving right along...

I'm going to change the tone a bit and talk about WEDDINGS!!!

For those of you not aware, I am going to be a MRS. in just 5 months minus 1 day. I can't freaking believe it!!! Where has time went?!?!?!

In preparation for an afternoon of coffee consumption and laziness, I was pulling out some magazines to entertain me.  In the same area were two wedding magazines and The Bride's Essential Wedding Planner Deluxe Edition (aka - Giant Binder that would supposedly instruct one on how to plan a wedding).

FACT: I've paged through each, but I haven't read or taken away squat from either.

I haven't been to many weddings, nor have I been directly involved in a wedding in any way shape or form. Against the cliche of "every little girl dreams of what her wedding will be like", I didn't spend any of my free time dreaming about dresses, centerpieces and 16 piece invitations with a dove that flew out into your face when you opened it.

But, here I am, 5 months out from my wedding and I still don't have those specific visions. All I see is Mr. Soul Mate with me on that day and nothing else really matters. I'm marrying him. I am going to marry my Mr. and be his Mrs. Does anything else really matter?

Maybe if money was infinite for us, I'd feel differently, but even when I think outside our budget, all the glitz and glamor and excessive spending doesn't appeal to me. Well, except for maybe some fancy uplighting. That stuff is super sweet and looks amazing in pictures.

But on October 19th, and the day after, and the week after that and the years after that.... what will matter? The save the dates and invitations that we spent hundreds of dollars on that just got thrown away? The 20 vases we had to buy for the 20 centerpieces that we spent four figures on? The draping that we spent four figures on? The favors that we spent a a couple hundred dollars on that our guests will either throw away, misplace or just plain leave at the venue?

All that stuff won't make our day any more amazing.

I don't know how to plan a wedding the 'right' way and neither does Nate, but we are excited to be planning OUR wedding. OUR celebration. I could care less about the traditional rules and regulations for Wedding game play. I just want to marry this guy!

For 'not knowing' what we are doing, I think our day is going to be pretty kick ass! We spent our money on the important things - venue, photographer, DJ and honeymoon - and we're pinching pennies in all the other areas. We did a lot of work in planning the big pieces early on and have a lot done, we're just patiently waiting for the gates to open and all the small details to trickle in.

I can't freaking wait though!

What is one thing you wish you had done differently with your wedding?
What's one MUST that you have in mind for yours?

The Detox

I love my CF box.  We have this awesome community that supports and rallies each other on. On the Monday that occurred 12 days ago I was venting about how much trouble I was having kicking the sugar (...Snickers Ice Cream Cones...) and asked if anyone was up for a little detox/diet clean up with me. In my mind I was thinking a weeks worth of clean eats just to get back on track, but before I knew it, I was agreeing to the Balanced Bites 21 Day Sugar Detox. 

21 days of clean eating. No grains (was already following that), no fruit (already said byebye), no added sugars, real or fake, (eh.. not so much) and also no dairy (hasn't happened quite yet), no alcohol (verdict is still out).

The first few days (and by days I mean hours) I was excited. Wooowhooo! Clean eating, feeling good, de-bloating...yippie! But then around Thursday I was like, "Oh.... No cocktails tonight? Or Friday? Or Saturday?" I was grumpy for awhile... and then through the weekend...and then through the week.

I am definitely not a weeknight drinker. It feels out of place, unearned, and unhealthy to me. Who knows why, but I feel like cocktail time is reserved specifically for the weekend, most especially Saturday evening. BUT...this week has been ridiculously, stupidly, annoyingly stressful. I have been on edge and anxious all day long each day this week. Last night was especially awful and I didn't know if I wanted to cry, scream or blow something up.

I've been waiting for news all week and I expected for it to arrive yesterday...it did not. I'm mentally exhausted from waiting. I'm exhausted from being anxious and antsy. I'd been mentally plotting about celebrating or sulking yesterday. Enjoying a cocktail in celebration or eating my feelings in sadness. YES... I was planning to blow the detox.

After a week full of this waiting game, I was in rough shape. Cranky, crabby, out right unreasonable. I'm lucky I'm still engaged.

For awhile I was certain that the right thing to do would be to have a cocktail anyways.
Stacy: "Who cares, you're going to blow it when you find out anyways, why not have one now?"
Stacy:"Yeah, why not?!"
Stacy: "Well, you haven't ate since noonish and it's 7 now, so you better wait until you eat and then have a drink."
Stacy: "Wooowhoo!!! Cocktail time!"

After Stacy and I talked it out, we decided that it wasn't worth it. Blowing the 21 day gig was just going to upset me MORE, especially since I am over half way through now. And that silly cocktail wasn't going to do anything for me anyways. I'll still be anxiously waiting for news until it comes.

So. Here I am. 9 days left. Clean from the inside out. I do feel good and I am glad I'm doing this. I just wish I picked a better time to do it. Stress about eating + a generally stressful stint for the time being do not add up quite right for me.

How do you deal with anxiousness and crazy moods? Ladies...I know you've all been there, so don't hold out on me!

Sugar Monster

I’ve been following a CrossFit workout regimine and a Paleo diet for about a year now. I’ve made forward progress since I started and one of my main goals has been to shed body fat. One would think that after a year or so, things would fall into place but while I’ve shed the inches, I know I haven’t quite banished as much body fat as I’d like to. With my wedding coming up in a mere 6 months (EEEEK), I need to get serious if I want a body fat reduced bod in my wedding dress and my honeymoon bikini!

Since I started this CF/Paleo lifestyle, I have tracked my weight and measurements and every few months I get my body fat tested at the same place, usually by the same person. Over the last few months, my weight has been kinda crazy up and down, but my measurements continue to get smaller. But, the stubborn body fat hasn’t nudged much. Since February of 2011, I’ve only dropped it by 1.5%. Serious feat, yes, but to me it just seems like it should be lower.

In regards to my weight fluctuating, the one thing I have noticed is that whenever I have cut fruit out of my diet, I have lost weight. Losing weight = reduced body fat, right? Insert operation nix fruits and nuts and ease up on the happy hours.

I started this on March 26th and aside from my decision to celebrate Nate’s birthday with a week full of treats, it’s going well! It’s really not that big of a deal until I make it a big deal. Some of you might be thinking that I’m being rediculous for cutting out such a healthy group of foods. You might also be thinking that no one ever got FAT from eating too much fruit. Well, I never got skinny from eating a bunch of fruit either.

The more sugar I get, the more I crave it and it doesn’t really matter what form it’s in. Starchy ‘good’ carbs, starchy bad ‘carbs’, fruit, ice cream, Paleo baked yummies, Standard American Diet baked yummies… sugar is sugar is sugar!

Within the first two weeks, I dropped down to a happier weight. I noticed less bloat in the tummy, felt less bogged down, felt a little more alert, a little less sensitive, and a little less likely to change my mood with the flip of a switch.

During my sugar happy week last week, I felt uneasy, stressed, mood was much more unstable and even into this week, I’m still feeling the same way. Granted there may be some other factors playing into this (gloomy weather, being a woman, bills due, etc.) I think too much sugar in my life definitely aggitates my moods and hinders me from being cool, calm and collected. And from being a skinny beotch.

Atleast for now, I think this is something that I need to stick with. If I genuinely FEEL better on a consistent basis without sugars of any sort, then it outweighs the delicious taste of a banana with almond butter, right…?

Life A.M. (after marathon)

Three weeks ago, I was pounding the pavement in the Sunday sunshine and heat. By this time I was probably already wondering why in the hell I ever decided to run a marathon. I was also probably thinking that the idea of a marathon was effing crazy and wondering why my sane brain thought it would be a fun thing to check off the list.

Well, I definitely checked it off the list and the only running I have done since then has been a little running here and there during my Cross Fit workouts.

I am in a better spot than I was before, recognizing that regardless of my time, I accomplished my goal of finishing a marathon. I did something that some people would never dream of doing and something that some people can only dream of doing. And at this point in time, I wouldn't put it past myself to do another one again, eventually...

So what's life like for Stacy, A.M.? Crossfit, Paleo, living.

I am slowing getting my stamina and strength back at Crossfit. It's a little frustrating to go form hitting PRs to lifting 20-30lbs left and having that feel incredibly heavy, but it's coming back. My workouts this week have been great and Wednesday's and Saturday's WODs really made me feel like I'm getting back to where I was.

Paleo. I was definitely off the wagon during the last few months of marathon training. I've been able to keep myself off the grains, but it was the sugar that I was going bonkers over. Fruit, ICE CREAM, potato chips, creamer in my coffee... SUGAR... I was taking the 80/20 rule to a daily basis instead of overall. The week after the marathon, nothing was off limits though. There was pasta post marathon, Subway, Chipotle burrito bowl (WITH RICE), and of course, more ice cream.

As of the 13th, I started another 30 day Paleo challenge and so far so good. It's always impressive how much BETTER I feel in all aspects of my life when I get back to eating this way. This is really just forcing me to cut out the ice cream, the sugar, the late night eating, the excuses. Even on the first day I noticed differences. I FINALLY slept really well and I haven't been able to say that in a long time. My body is looking better, I am consistently sleeping better, I am performing better. Aside from some general grogginess (not sure if that's due to post marathon fatigue and/or diet change and/or Crossfit), I have really been feeling great. A few days after the 30th day, I will be parading around in my swimsuit for the day at a water park. If that's not motivation to keep my ass on track with Paleo, I don't know what is.

When the 30 days is over, the new challenge will be finding a livable balance with my diet. Isn't that always the struggle? To get on the wagon and STAY on the wagon? I definitely think one of the keys to success will be keeping trigger foods (sugar/ice cream) OUT of the house. If I want ice cream, it's going to be special and it's going to come from somewhere and it's going to be gone in one serving.

I also need to work on changing my mindset about 'treats'. I don't deserve to feel like crap from eating junk food because I worked hard in the gym or had a bad day. How many of us are given that excuse or use that excuse? If I worked hard in the gym or had a bad day, don't I deserve something that is going to NOURISH my body, improve my mind/body, make me feel great? Chocolate and ice cream might give me that euphoria, but if I overdo it, I'll just end up with gut rot and guilt.

How do you stay on track? What's your viewpoint on food treats?

Lessons in running a marathon

I wrote this Thursday of last week, but couldn't decide if I wanted to post it or not... and today I decided I did. More to come later on how I am feeling now. :)

June 9th, 2011:
I feel like running half marathons, full marathons and just running in general has become the new fad. It seems like you aren't exercising and you certainly aren't fit if you aren't running all week long.


Running used to be my staple exercise. I remember running daily during college, especially during the summer. Even after college, running was on the exercise agenda on a regular basis, mixed in with exercise videos and cross training at the gym. Running was never for distance, it was just for time, just for fun, just for exercise, just to get moving. Pace didn't matter, route didn't matter. I just ran because I enjoyed it.


But since I started Cross Fit in December, I haven't missed running. AT ALL. So what in the hell gave me the itch to run a marathon?


I honestly don't know.


I feel like everyone I know and their aunt, uncle and second cousin was on this running bandwagon. And not just that, but the marathon bandwagon, too.


My first taste of running races was a 10k with a girlfriend. I remember at the time thinking, "...6 miles?!" and it felt like a really big deal. Towards the end of that race, my girlfriend turned to me and said, "you know that we're going to have to do something bigger after this, right? Like a half marathon?" I laughed it off thinking it will never happen. That was fall of 2009.


Flash forward to spring of 2010 and we were picking out the race, the half marathon to run that summer. We trained, we wondering why we were doing it, we ran the race in the sticks of Minnesota and joked that we would do it again when we were older, with kids, just to prove we still had it. But at this point it time, I had it with running. I was done running because I HAD to.


October comes around and I'm asked to step in for someone else that can't race. At that point, I hadn't trained, RAN, at all. But, I did it. And I liked it. It was such a rush to realize that my body was capable of doing something like that without following an exact training plan nor a training plan at all.


I don't know where it came from, why it came or why I listened to it, but I decided that my Cross Fit goal for 2011 would be to run a marathon. And I wrote it on the board to solidify it.


Now here I am, 4 days post marathon.


I did it. I ran 26.2 miles. I trained for 16 weeks. I experienced over-training and a funky ankle which I tried to remedy by new shoes, different shoes and a newer pair of my old running shoes.


4 days post marathon and I'm not sore at all. The only remnants of the race are a big blister on my big toe and some pretty rough looking ring finger toe nails that I think might fall off.


I should feel proud, elated, ecstatic, right?! Well I don't. Not anymore. I did on Sunday, but I've had a bit of a black cloud hanging over me since Monday evening. I'm not giving myself the love and kudos that I should for doing something insane. Let's be real, running 26.2 miles IS insane.


My black cloud is time. My original goal was to finish in 4:30-4:45. Since I could run a 2:15 half, why couldn't I work to finish a full in twice that amount of time? A few weeks into training, I over trained and started REALLY stressing myself out about my goal time. So, I took it off. I said my goal was to FINISH a marathon. But, in the back of my mind there was a "sub 5 hour" clause in small print.


Well, as far as I know, running a marathon doesn't always create a perfect storm in your favor. I finished in 5:13-5:17 (I can't figure out which is right) And on Sunday, I reached a point where I didn't care about time. I was struggling, I wanted to cry. I couldn't run any faster than I could speed walk and I finally said screw it. I didn't want my marathon memory to be that of me being upset, crying, feeling defeated and completely frustration. I pulled out my headphones and decided to enjoy myself. Take in everything that was around me. The sighs, the sounds, the energy. I was going to speed walk my ass off, run if I could, and ENJOY myself. I did just that. And finished in 5:17.


Now though... I regret. I regret not pushing myself harder. Making myself go faster. But where would that have gotten me? Just like I'll never know the answer to that, I'll also never know whether or not I would have gotten my sub 5hr time or if I would have enjoyed myself anymore. I also don't know that if I got that sub 5 time that I wouldn't be regretting that I didn't push for 430-445.


I shouldn't let those 18 minutes overshadow my experience though.


I wasn't nearly as nervous as I expected I would be. I was fairly cool, calm and collected. When race started and we inched towards the start line, I got tears in my eyes. I was really doing it. I was really going to run a marathon. Tears of pride.


I love that I got to run the race with one of my best friends. We didn't physically run together, but we both ran the marathon and spent ample time together before and after.


I'll never forget the flood of emotions I felt when I saw my Cross Fit gang holding signs and cheering for me. I was literally in tears as I ran by them. They had signs, and cute little flags. That little act of kindness and their excitement for me really meant the world to me. I have only known these people for 6 months. SIX MONTHS! But they came out and cheered me on like family.


Seeing my boyfriend and sorority sister at multiple points after I hit my 'wall', cheering for me, bringing me whatever I needed. Nudging me along. Keeping my spirits up. More flooding emotions there.


Talking to hand fulls of people as we all fought the last 4 miles together. People that I will most likely never see again. People that I created a bond with and their face, out chat, the memory will always be etched in my mind.

Trial and success

If you’ve been following my blog you are familiar with the ups and downs that I have had in regards to diet and exercise. In 2010 I was all over the place… (this is lengthy, but I’m working to make a point!)

I was still hanging on to Weight Watchers January-March, but totally cheating the system. I’d eat low point, non-filling, blah food in order to hoard my points for treats and splurges. I was frustrated with how I was feeling, frustrated that I wasn’t seeing changes, and still killing myself at the gym.

March I ditched WW and went for a different approach – The Rosedale Diet. I saw results and felt great! My clothes were finally fitting better and my confidence was building, HOWEVER, my diet was not supporting my workouts. Before I could pound out an intense 1 hour cardio session, but was now struggling to crank out 20-30 minutes.

Late March/April I began my half marathon training. Throughout my training, I incorporated a serving of carbs here and there, but ultimately, and in addition to too many things going on, I was off the diet bandwagon. April through July I stayed consistent with my training, but again, my diet just wasn’t there. I was allowing myself to eat what I wanted (which was okay!) but I was really overestimating/disregarding what my body actually needed for fuel.

After the half marathon in July, I let myself rest and worked on learning to listen to my body and do what I felt like doing. That didn’t last long and I started P90X at the end of July. I loved it at first, but after awhile I just felt frustrated that I wasn’t seeing results. I attempted to follow their diet plan, but it just wasn’t working for me. I finished out P90X in October with nothing to show. My pants weren’t fitting, I didn’t feel healthy or great, and my confidence was at an all time low. This was NOT how, physically and emotionally, I wanted to be.

Turning point - October 30th - I ran another half marathon. Totally unplanned and last minute decision. I ran it with ease and no problems at all. Running that race honestly made me realize that I am strong and able. I openly declared that I, from that moment on, had no grounds to talk poorly about myself any longer. If I could run a half marathon without training, my body deserved only good praise from there on out.

November started out with following the exercise plan that I received at a personal training session at the end of October and then my first Cross Fit session 1st CF session . I did two other free CF workouts, talked a lot about the Paleo diet with the trainer and on December 1st I dove in. And I haven’t looked back…

Choosing to ditch what I was previously doing and follow the CF/Paleo lifestyle was by far the best decision I made for myself. It has improved nearly all aspects of my life; I am more confident, I feel sexy, and I am loving myself. I no longer look in the mirror and notice what I don’t like about my body. I am proud of what I see because of what I can do. I slaved away at P90X and finished still not being able to curl a 25lb dumbbell without writhing, jumping and finally using my other arm to help. After about 3 weeks of Cross Fit, I could complete one rep with ease, not to mention the multitude of ability that I have discovered within myself.

A lot of times we are afraid to take a different route or try something new. We look at the negative what ifs and vision the newness as jumping across a canyon; we either land comfortably on the other side or tumble in failure. If what you are doing is not getting you the results you want, not fueling your happiness and feelings of worth, and draining you, then it’s time to try something new. Evaluate what you are doing and when it comes to fitness this means DIET and EXERCISE. Evaluate everything and be honest with yourself! Track what you eat (maybe even when and WHY) for a week and evaluate. How much food is natural and real? Did you eat when you weren’t hungry? Be honest! What’s the point in lying to yourself if you want results? How were your workouts? Were you bored? Did you enjoy it? How did you feel after? From here, reevaluate your plan for the next week. Make small changes.

If you aren’t feeling your workouts, do what you want to do! Walk, rest, stretch, yoga, meditate, take a bath…whatever! If you are keeping your diet in check, your rest/free days are not going to hinder you. Our bodies are a reflection of what we eat, inside and out! It’s all about creating a lifestyle that works for you and makes you feel 110%!

Life is too short to spend it unhappy, especially when it comes to doing something for your health. I love not spending hours in the gym anymore. I am much more satisfied kicking my ass for 5-20 minutes, 4-5 days a week than I was doing cardio for 6+ hours a week. One way isn’t necessarily the end all be all and I am sure that there will be tweaking and altering for me at different points, but this is the lifestyle that is working for me RIGHT NOW and it’s all about trial and error.

What’s a change in your lifestyle that you made and are glad you did?

Why here but not there, there and there?

There have been multiple times that I have attempted to write up a new post, but get lost in my thoughts, can’t figure out how to say what I want to say or specifically what I want to say and then give up.

I’m often told that I have an incredible amount of self discipline and determination and while I would agree, this aspect of my personality is only evident in certain aspects of my life. There are many things on my plate right now that deserve this sort of attention, but I am struggling to give it. Diet and exercise are near top priority in my life and something that receives attention every single day.

Please note that when I say they are near top priority and receive attention every day, it is NOT in the same way or to the same magnitude as it had been before. Prior to Cross Fit and Paleo, it was an incredibly anxious and worried kind of attention. Constant thought, constant worry. Now, it’s entirely positive. I don’t worry about what I can and cannot eat. I know now what foods make me feel and perform best and choose to eat those. It’s not worrying about what’s the right thing to put in m body and the connotation of the wrong things on the flip side. With exercise, it’s not a guessing game. My workouts are decided for me and all I need to do is show up and give it all I have. I just do it and know that it’s working.

From the outside, you might think, “if she’s got this together, she’s got the rest together, too!” Not so much…

Unless the floor is a hamper, I don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper.

You should see my closet right now. In an attempt to de-clutter, I’ve just cluttered my closet with a giant bin of clothes that need to be donated along with piles of ‘keep?’ and ‘I might want this for…’

Money management…while it’s not as bad as it could be, it’s certainly not the level of budgeting and discipline I feel it should be. I like to blame it on Christmas and Xcel energy, but it might be me. In my own defense however, I am pushing myself to use a budgeted cash envelope system. I have envelopes for everything other than bills – groceries and dog food. Gas still comes from the debit card, just because that is easiest and because I don’t go around buying gas like it’s going out of style. I first attempted this with January, but that blew up in my face due to a strong need to bake (more about that later). But, February is looking to be on track.

So in all the above instances, why can’t I apply my determination and diligence to these tasks? Why is it so much easier for me to left these things unfinished and a little sloppy?

Do any of you experience the same in aspects of your life?

New year, new me

As mentioned in my previous post, December DID fly by. Every early November, I eagerly anticipate the holiday season, but every year it's over before I know it and I feel like I didn't take enough time to enjoy it fully.

So what's new in my life you ask? Well...

I bit the bullet and made the decision to do something FOR ME. I signed up for a membership at Cross Fit City of Lakes. I wasn't getting the results I wanted with my diet plan and personal training program (nor was I all that enthused about it). I have been going at least 3x a week, but trying/aiming for 4. Being this is something I am paying for, I wanted to do it right – the whole shebang. With that being said, I am also following the recommended Paleo diet – ie – no grains, dairy, grains, processed foods or alcohol. My carbohydrate intake is coming from mostly vegetables, nuts and seeds and a little fruit. I fill up on healthy fats and proteins.

I know, I know… I’m on a “bandwagon” again. But, the more I talk to my trainer and the more I read about it, the more it made sense to me and the way I want to treat my body. I ‘officially’ started on December 1st and I have been feeling pretty great. I am loving the workouts and the diet. I am not feeling deprived, not having any terrible cravings either. The only time I crave grain carbs is when I have waitied too long to eat.

My clothes are fitting better, my confidence is gaining, and I am feeling stronger. I love how I leave every workout with nothing left to give - I push myself to the limit in every workout. I cannot say enough good things about CrossFit. Seriously ladies... I haven't felt this good about myself, this strong, this confident in a LONG time.

I am also working on keeping my mind open in regards to the diet - this is LIFE. Not a judgement on how strict I keep my Paleo diet. I do have a little dairy here and there, which I am trying to cut out as I have reason to believe that it negatively affects my skin (reintroduction to dairy after a week off = hellllooooo massive breakout!). I also allowed myself to indulge over the holidays, but am back on track now. I will give myself a cheat day/meal if I feel it is necessary or if there is a special event.

Nine days in to 2011 and things are looking up.

What are you looking forward to this year? Any new years resolutions?

Traditions

December is certainly going to fly by, I just know it. Today is only December 4th, but before we know it, it'll be New Years Eve.

I have yet to decorate the house and am totally in a mood to go balls to the walls crazy and totally deck the halls. But when I think about all the trinkets I want, I realize that it'd be a waste of money to buy them all now at full price. I could EASILY spend over $100 on cute snowmen, santas, penguins, trees and lights, but is that really practical when I'm already on a tight budget? Not so much. What I really need are some elementary kids making me construction paper chain decorations and popcorn garland.

The last two years though, I've always been at Target the days after Christmas and always talk myself out of buying the ridiculously discounted Christmas trinkets. This year my inner Chrimstas-ista will give in and BUY BUY BUY!

I am loving all the holiday shows that are on TV now. On Tuesday night, I was highly disappointed that Biggest Loser wasn't on until 8, but my night did a 180 when I realized that the Grinch (the cartoon version) was on instead. I LOVE the Grinch. It's hands down my FAVORITE Christmas cartoon. Next on the list is Mickey's Christmas Carol, followed by the Frosty saga.

Mickey's Christmas Carol brings back so many warming and loving memories with my family. We would ALWAYS watch it together every year and we were all so excited about it. Last year, because of the crummy weather that came through MN the day before Christmas Eve, I wasn't able to spend Christmas with my family. I was so upset. I had spent most of the day at work checking the weather (crossing my fingers for a miracle) and talking on the phone with my Dad getting weather updates. Coming to terms with the fact that I wouldn't be spending Christmas with my family was hard to swallow. I had to babysit that night, had a white knuckle hour drive to my house that night, and let it sink in that the drive to SD wasn't going to happen.

When I got home, I walked into a candle lit house, Kenny G Christmas music playing (my favorite), and my hunny sitting at our center island with two homemade ice cream sundaes for us. He was so sympathetic, so sweet, and took the time to go out in the crappy weather to buy me my favorites - the Kenny G CD, my favorite winter scented candle, and ice cream. Later that night we watched Mickey's Christmas Carol and of course I balled.

We spent Christmas with Nate's family and eventually made it to my family two days after Christmas. I am so thankful for how welcoming and caring his family was that year and continues to be. The whole experience really made me realize that it's not about the date, it's about the celebration and time with the people you spend it with.

Alright, enough sap for the day...

I have a feeling that today is going to slip away from me. I'd really like to go get a Christmas tree today, maybe some cheap decorations, return some stuff, yoga my body up and we've reserved Eclipse on RedBox.

What are your favorite Christmas shows and movies? What ever happened to the Garfield Christmas show? I loved that one.

Favorite Christmas song?

Favorite Holiday tradition?

Have a great weekend! For those of you in MN... enjoy the beautiful snow!

Holiday time must be different

I can't believe that Thanksgiving came and went. I mean, seriously, how did the last three days just fly by.

Monday was also my Friday, my only day in the office this week. I took Tuesday off to prep for the family arriving on Wednesday and took off Wednesday to spend time with the family. They left late this morning and now that my house is strangely quiet and empty, I can't help but feel a little lost and sad. And, I am scratching my head trying to figure out how time can go by so damn fast.

The first Nate and Stacy hosted Thanksgiving was a complete success! The only losses of the day were 1. the egg that I cracked right into the garbage disposal instead of in the bowl and 2. the herb mix that Nate shot all over himself and the floor via the 'flavor injector' instead of in the turkey. We didn't have as many guests as had expected, which means that we have enough leftovers gain all our holiday weight this week.

I have always helped my mom prepare the Thanksgiving day meal, but I have never done this all on my own. It takes a lot of planning and coordinating to get everything ready on time, but regardless, not everything is piping hot. And then, after cooking a preparing all day and making sure that everything is right and ready and near perfect, you sit down to eat and 20 minutes later, the climax of the day is over. Poof. Hours of cooking for 20 minutes of eating. How does that work?! How long do your family meals last? AND.. is dessert served immediately after dinner?

With the family here and being off work, I haven't been to the gym since last Saturday. Not going to lie, I am feeling a little anxious about it, but I have continued to remind myself that it is okay. And it's also reminded me to keep my food choices in check.

Though it didn't get my heart racing, I was on my feet plenty Monday, Tuesday and yesterday. Wednesday I cranked out a rousing 30 minutes to Level 1 30 Day Shred (um.. hard!). Today I am really feeling like some Jillian Yoga, so I think I will honor that. I honestly am not feeling like anything crazy intense, but I am feeling like *something*.

If you went Black Friday shopping, did you snag anything good? Have any interesting stories to share?

Go big or go home

Long overdue, but better late than never, right?

After being able to run a half marathon without actually training for it, one would think they are in really good shape. And maybe I am, but the Cross Fit session was INTENSE and I loved every minute of it.

I started out with 3 rounds of 10 squats, 10 pushups and 10 modified pull ups using gymnast rings. Then I got into the real workout which was 3 rounds of 15 kettle ball swings, 12 box jumps and 10 squat wall throws.

Sounds simple enough on paper, but the point of the workout is to perform these moves in the shortest amount of time possible, but in proper and correct form. Even after the warm up I was tuckering out and during the workout itself I was DRIPPING sweat and needing to stop and catch my breath.

I’ve done one additional Cross Fit workout and plan on going again this Saturday. Every workout is different. The last time I went it was 3 rounds of overhead barbell squats, knees to elbows and double unders. First set was 21 reps each, 2nd set 15 each and final set 9 each. Even with just the two workouts, I feel stronger and more confident.

I just love the mentality associated with it. PUSH youself HARD and get through the workout in the best form with the best time. Race yourself. Show yourself up. GO BIG OR GO HOME.

Awesome, awesome, awesome. Love it, love it, love it.


Moving on…

I’m hosting my family for Thanksgiving this year and both me and Nate and super excited! We have a 20lb bird chilling in the freezer. My mom flipped her lid that we had a 20lb turkey. Now… maybe 20lbs is excessive, but (again) go big or go home, right?! And it’s my first Thanksgiving as a hostess. Might as well make it memorable with an oversized bird!

I still have some menu planning and some shopping to do. I am planning for all the basics – potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce (from a can of course), some sort of roll or bread, a vegetables and gravy – but I haven’t yet identified a dessert. Mr. Difficult is not into pumpkin/cinnamon stuff, so the traditional pies are out. I may go a brownie cheesecake route with some sort of fruit sauce. I will be sure to keep you all posted. Any maybe I will even get crafty and get some pictures on this boring blog!

I go through phases where I don’t feel like putting any energy into cooking. I’d much rather fill a bowl with spinach, romaine, open a can of chicken or tuna and call it a meal. If I don’t feel like that, I feel like scrambling two eggs, two whites making an omelet and toasting a piece of bread. Today/tonight is no exception. I am being forced to make potato cheese soup tonight. This meal was on the menu planner the last time I was planning meals (probably sometime in October…) and the damned half and half is barking at me since it’s time is up in the next few days. I don’t even want soup at this moment in time, but I seriously hate wasting food. It’ll make for good leftovers, right? However, on the flip side, I feel my domestic blood pumping and have a serious urge to bake my weekend away.

I really want to bake some sort of scone or muffin. JUMBO muffins or JUMBO scones. I hate wasting time with the dinky ones. Give me JUMBO ones that I can feel naughty about. Again once more, go big or go home, right? Any suggestions?

What are you all doing for Thanksgiving?

What words do you always spell incorrectly? Omelet, definitely pursue are always troublesome for me. Maybe I should invest in some flashcards.

Tree pose

I think we should work on creating a 3 day work week and a 4 day weekend. What do you think morale would be like then?! Sunday night, around 9, I am never excited for Monday and am always wishing for at least one more day. Funny how all my wishing has never actually worked. I should channel my wishing energy into something more productive.

My hunny is back home from his hunting excursion and is activity participating in National Beard Month. He’s the kind of guy that can wear it and not look ridiculous or goofy; it actually fits. It’s past the ‘sandpaper on my face’ point and is now quite soft. I give him a few days before he decides he can’t take it anymore. Sounds like me and my legs…

For those of you loyal readers, this past month or so I’ve been struggling with finding MY diet and exercise balance in life. I am happy to report that I am really beginning to feel at peace with it all. Let’s back track to the end of October.

My house was broken into and that completely killed my appetite (as in I didn’t eat much for a few days). A combination of the stress and not eating brought forth the evil stepmom version of the cold I was fighting. I eventually went to the doctor and was put on some antibiotics, but before my appetite had a chance, the antibiotics squashed it. So…after the 10 day antibiotic stint was up, the cold was dead and my appetite was coming back. During this time, I really was in tune with what I wanted to eat, what my body was craving, when to eat and when to stop. Unfortunately that didn’t include the $5.00, 3lb bag of organic spinach I had just bought at Costco prior to the madness (it didn’t last). During this time, I knew I wasn’t fueling my body properly what-so-ever. I also knew that I needed to honor and respect my body/mind in what it was going through, so I chose to take rest days. In the fear that all hell would break lose if I didn’t work out and follow a workout plan, I didn’t overeat and my pants still fit. Who knew?!

Part 1 – Diet
I know that my body responds well to a lower carb diet and that is what I plan on sticking to. HOWEVER, there are no ‘rules’ to this. It’s a guideline. In March of this year, I tried the Rosedale Diet (not associated with the Rosedale Mall for you MN readers ;) ) and had good results, felt much less bloated and puffy and felt healthy while on it. But because I saw it strictly as what I can and cannot have, I veered off of it. If you’re interested in reading about it, check it out at drrosedale.com. My plan is to stick to allow one serving of carbs a day in the form of pasta/rice/bread/oatmeal IF I want it. I’m not counting carbs from veggies, nuts, etc. And the remainder of my diet is from veggies, lean proteins, and healthy fats (avocado anyone? Yes, please!). I’m going to track calories to ensure that I am getting in at least 1800 a day as recommended by the personal trainer that I saw.

Part 2 – Exercise I met with a personal trainer the day after my house was broken into. As much as I wanted to cancel, I needed it to get my mind off of things and was curious to see what she would recommend. I LOVED the training session. The moves she had me do were different and challenging and I felt like everything was results focused. She had me lift heavy, heavier than I tried with P90X and broke down why it’s important for most women to lift heavy for 8-10 reps rather than lift easily for 12-15+. I’ll break this down a bit later…
She provided me with a strength routine, a plyo routine, and a combination of the two. She also set up a two week schedule for me to follow which includes the previously mentioned workouts, plus specific heart rate cardio days, and active rest days. This routine was given to me amidst the chaos and as much as I was paranoid that I couldn’t NOT miss a workout and had to follow the plan to a T, I respected and honored myself, and worked out when I felt I was able and when I had ate enough and rested when I felt I needed to.

Yesterday, I had my gym bag packed to hit up the gym after work, but I decided that I felt like walking the dogs, not going to the gym – key word being FELT. And for once, I listened to myself and did what I FELT like doing. I also ate what I was craving for dinner (Mmmm… Chipotle Burrito Bowl). And I’m okay with that. I’ve been doing some positive self talk lately and it usually starts with an “It’s okay to____”. I am also reminding myself of how far I’ve come, who I am, what I am capable of, and what I have to be proud of. It’s a day by day process and that’s simply all it is. Each day I have the power to make choices that positively impact MY mind, body, and life. These are not choices that are made by anyone else’s rules or standards than my own. I am learning to trust that I know what’s right for me and that it’s not the same as what is right for anyone else.

Lifting heavy… Here goes…
Basically, most women (myself previously included) say they are afraid they will bulk up if they lift heavy. Well, it was explained to me, in a nutshell, that women don’t have enough testosterone in their bodies to actually BULK UP. If you are bulking up, you should also be noticing facial and chest hair. If you are “bulking up” your diet may be off and you are actually gaining fat (insert P90X for me and I wasn’t even lifting heavy). When you are lifting weights, you should be lifting to the point where your muscles give up and you cannot complete one more rep. You should not be at a point where your muscles just feel a little sore and a little tired. You shouldn’t be sore during your weight lifting routine, your muscles should just feel ‘dead’ for lack of a better term. Now, PLEASE, my disclaimer… take this with a grain of salt. I am impressionable to health/diet and fitness information. I suggest that you research this to obtain the further knowledge you need to determine if this is right for you or not.

Today, I am doing a free 1-on-1 session at Cross Fit and I am really excited to get more feedback on an exercise and diet plan that’s right for me. I’ll be sure to fill you all in later this week!

Struttin!

I know you all have been patiently waiting for this… THE RECAP!

As you can see by the subject line, I do not need a walker to scoot around. This is good news!

Recap - Last Monday evening, I was asked if I could potentially take the place of my boyfriend’s brother-in-law in the Monster Dash this past weekend. By Wednesday morning, it was confirmed that I would be running in his place.

Flash forward to Friday…
I was in a tizzy about the run. I was put on antibiotics earlier in the week and they were totally killing my appetite. It had not improved whatsoever. To top it off, my intolerance for milk was reconfirmed after a bowl of cereal Thursday night and a bowl of cereal Friday morning (in the name of carbo loading of course). I was in terrible, uncomfortable stomach pain off and on all day Friday. I was hoping that it would work itself out by date night time, but that was not the case. It was only made worse by my nervousness. But, I bucked up and went about date night (dinner out downtown and the T-Wolves game) and had a lovely time.

I woke up Saturday morning feeling okay, but not 100% and not bad enough to bail out. I chalked it all up to nerves and got myself ready and by 7AM I was on my way. Between 8 and 830, I felt like I was going to poop my pants (literally and figuratively) but was able to get into the porta potties in the nik of time and made it in line for the race with a few moments to spare.
SIDE NOTE – Team Ortho – if you are hosting such large events, why don’t you have more than 7 porta potties available before the start? Please advise. Thanks.

And the race you ask? Well…

2:15:55

Which means it went FAN-FRICKIN-TASTIC! I was absolutely ELATED with my results. Considering that I haven’t specifically trained for this and was able to finish only 43 seconds ‘slower’ than my first, I’m happy as a clam!

The race went incredibly smoothly. I ran 10:1’s, which is running for 10 minutes, walking for 1. Me and my girl did this for the whole race and in doing so, I never had any pain or endurance issues. I felt strong as hell! I highly recommend this practice/training to anyone! Some of you may be thinking that it will affect your pace and time, but it does not. We stayed near the 2:20 pace group and within the last mile in a half we were able to break past them with no troubles what so ever. This was the FIRST time that I have ever done 10:1’s and it seriously made a word of difference! I plan on doing this for all future training and races.

Post race I had a bit of an ephifany about myself and my body. If I can run a half marathon without training for it, I have no grounds to EVER bash myself or my body. I am sticking to this and reminding myself of it everyday. I am healthy and I am strong. I may not have the perfect body per today's standards, but it's MY body and it's capable of so many things.

Are you up for the task?

I am running a half marathon this Saturday. You may be asking yourself the same questions I am asking myself.


Have I trained? No, not really.

Am I nervous? Yes.

Can I do it? Yes.

Are you sure? Um. Kind of.

Kids, I am pooping bricks her. I haven’t been sitting on my butt since my half marathon in July, but I certainly haven’t been adding on the mileage either! The farthest I’ve ran since the half was a 10K at the beginning of the month.

I *know* that I will be fine. I *know* I can do it.

My plan of attack?

-downing and extra GU during this race. One before and four during.
-Eat before – i.e. Cliff bar, banana and protein shake.
-run 10:1’s. Run 10 minutes, walk 1 minute
-watch my pace; in my first half I was running much faster than I typically would

The forecast…
High of 54
9am – 40 degrees/feels like 35
12pm – 48 degrees/feels like 44

The attire…
Still up in the air. I know that I will be warm after the first 2 miles, so I am contemplating shorts and a t-shirt. Just the thought of running 13.2 miles in pants makes me feel hot and uncomfortable, not to mention the thought of a wet, long sleeve t-shirt sticking to my arms.

Here goes nothin... Watch for the recap next week!

Wishy-washy

Things to not stress about:

Bringing back out your ‘fat’ pants…and loving them.
My first pair of ‘skinny’ pants happens to be one of my favorite pairs, but it has since taken a roll as ‘fat’ pants. Today, I busted them out. They fit. They don’t squeeze my gut, my thighs or my ass. I feel cute in them, I feel comfortable in them, and maybe even a little sexy. Even if they are my fat pants, I don’t care. They fit. I love them. And I am not fat and the pants are just pants.

Feeling like a hungry, hungry hippo.
Last week, mid week, I had the most delicious, most filling bowls of steel cut oats for breakfast two days in a row that left me satisfied until lunch. In hopes to continue that, I had the exact same thing Friday morning, despite really wanting cheesy eggs and toast. Major fail. I was a hungry, hungry, hippo all morning and an unprepared hippo at that. I had NO snacks at work and no idea why I was starving. It went on all day.

I’ve barely started this blog and I have already made it clear that I can be a very wishy-washy, back and forth, ‘can’t make up my mind’ kind of girl.

Towards the end of last week and especially after my hungry, hungry, hippo Friday I began rethinking my choice to go back on WW. I’ve been tracking calories on the side, both eaten and burned and it just doesn’t seem to add up right. I know a deficit is necessary, but my activity+ww=grand canyon deficit.

Aside from being hungry all day Friday, I was also paranoid about Friday evening which would entail dinner out. I refrained from going into the cafeteria to buy something to eat or going to get something to eat to kill the hunger beast because I was concerned about how many points I would need/have left for dinner. When I got home, I gorged on carrots to fill the void and still ended up sending 3 points to a sandwich and leaving me little points for a dinner out. While we were on our way to the restaurant, I started thinking about all the energy I was expending worrying about points.

I know what’s good for my body. I also know what is not good for my body. We ordered appetizers and I tried to mentally track one point for each waffle fry I ate, keep track of how many chips and salsa I ate, guestimate how many points a wing was, and determine how many pieces of flatbread there were without pulling them all apart from eachother. As the night continued, I realized that I didn’t stuff myself with the appetizers. I didn’t hoard them to myself. I wasn’t full beyond full. I realized that I knew what I was doing. I knew what I was eating. I ate it because I enjoyed it. I ate it until I was content, until I realized that the next bite wouldn’t taste any better than the first, second, third, etc., and that I was satisfied.

A few hours later we ordered dinner. I ordered something that I would have ordered whether or not I was counting points. I ordered something that was within MY guidelines of eating. I ordered something that I rationalized as a tasty balance for the appetizers that I ate.

Saturday my mind was in the same place. However, it would be a lie if I said that I didn’t wake up feeling mildly guilty for food choices I made the night before, but again, I balanced with a healthy breakfast, but also something that was what I wanted and not necessarily based on point value. Dizzle and I had a very last minute change of plans in the evening that lead us to a very random and very fun night out with friends. None of it was preplanned, it all just happened. While part of me was panicked thinking ‘POINTS, POINTS, POINTS’ the other part of me was saying, ‘this is life, this is a memory, enjoy it!’ So I did.

Last night was the big kicker for my decision though. Dinner put me over by 3 points. When I went back to calculate my calorie intake for the day, 3 points over put me at 1299 calories. How is it that my day of healthy eating put me WAY under the number of calories I SHOULD eat and 3 points over the amount I am ‘supposed’ to eat? I am taking this week off from exercise, but on a typical workout day for me, I’m burning between 300 and 650 calories. 1300 calories on a day like that is not safe in my opinion!

Don’t get me wrong, WW is a great tool to use to lose weight and I would highly recommend it to anyone that is starting their weight loss journey. It’s just not right for me right now. So, what am I going to do? I’m going to continue to track calories and points for the time being. I am meeting with a personal trainer tomorrow and hopefully that will shed some light on the situation gear me in the right direction.

Thanks for those of you who are putting up with my whining, back and forth and craziness. I’ll get my poop in a group eventually. :)

Ch-Cha-Cha-Changes!

It feels so good to be halfway through the week!

Happenings since my last post…

This past weekend marked 1 year since my first race, a 10K. I had originally planned to run it again this year, but due to other plans, I decided against it. The weather was absolutely gorgeous this weekend, so I decided to skip my P90X Kenpo workout on Saturday and go for a run instead. As I was driving to my favorite, comfortable loop (which is 3 miles, but if you add any of the ‘legs’ it can be 3.5 to 3.8 miles) I started thinking about ‘trying’ to do a 10k. I knew that once I had that thought in my mind, I would not be able to talk myself out of it. 1hr and 17 seconds later, I completed an unofficial 10k, 2 minutes faster than last year. I was SO proud of myself! After running MAYBE 4 times since the half marathon in July, I still had the stamina and determination to push through and complete a 10k. I did have to stop and walk a few times, but I am okay with that. Later in the day and throughout Sunday I was a terrible, sore mess, but I LOVED it. I loved the feeling that I pushed my body; that I worked my body in a new way and pushed it.

Many people have boasted about how sore they would get while following P90X – I didn’t get that way. It was rare that I had a real good case of muscle soreness. I don’t know if that’s because I’m fit or because I didn’t push myself hard enough (which I am sure I did), but I missed that feeling. REALLLY missed that feeling. There’s nothing better than bragging rights as to how sore you are because of your workout.

I decided to stop fussing with my diet, with what *wasn’t* working, and started Weight Watchers again. I began tracking on Saturday and made Sunday my official day. It’s only been a few days, but I am feeling really positive about being back on plan. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that ratios just aren’t realistic for me. While I understand there is a ‘science’ to it, I also understand that balance is also KEY. I *KNOW* how to eat healthy and balanced. I can already tell that this time around will be different.

I am using the same ‘journal’ that I had used before and looking back at it, I was not being smart about my food choices. Yes, I was eating healthy, but I was also mowing down a bowl of cereal, a piece of toast and a fudge bar or ice cream AFTER dinner. I was purposely hoarding my points so I could snack away at night. Another pit fall was that I was hoarding all my flex points for the weekend. That means that between Friday and Saturday, I was chomping away at 81 points. That’s a lot of points to take down in the course of two days.

How am I approaching it now? I’ve divided up my flex points for the week and am giving myself a range of daily points. So far, I am feeling less restricted. Monday night for example, I had planned out my food for the day and was right on target. On a whim, bf and I ended up going out for a drink at our favorite place – insert beer, pretzels and boneless wings here. Instead of panicking and thinking that I’ve blown it, I thought to myself, “This is fine. This is life. I have points to use today and I can handle this” I didn’t overdo it on my favorite pretzel pieces and had just a taste of the boneless weeks and realized that I was satisfied. Another key here is to eat when I’m hungry. I know that my nighttime munchies are a habit and possibly due to not eating enough at dinner time. If I am truly hungry after dinner, I will eat something appropriate, not a worthless sweet treat that will leave me craving another as they almost always do.

I am feeling fantastic about being back on plan and much less stressed and obsessed about food and exercise. I really think this was the right choice for me to make, just as I think going off WW back in March was the right choice for me at the time. Doing that really helped me clean my diet up and give me a new perspective on what’s healthy and what’s not.

What are your highlights for the week so far?

What a difference 5 years (and some lbs) can make

This morning I got into some deep thoughts about why I put myself on this weight loss/fitness journey. Looking back to when I started Weight Watchers, I can’t recall a specific motivation. My Grandma had just started WW herself and offered to pay for my meetings, too. I think I had originally given her a “I’ll think about it response” and later decided to go for it, but I can’t recall any solid reason. There was no, “I should do this because____” Or “I want to do this because___” I just did it.

That was over 5 years ago. Five years ago I was overweight (and by overweight, I mean obese). Five years ago I don’t remember having this little self confidence. Five years ago I didn’t badger myself nearly every time I looked in the mirror. Five years ago I didn’t dwell on what I ate or whether or not I worked out. Five years ago, despite not fitting the media polished women’s mold, I felt sexy. I remember after the first 10-30lbs, I felt fantastic. Beautiful, sexy, unstoppable. I wasn’t worried about what my tummy looked like when I sat down. I braved a bikini like I owned it. I embraced my curves and didn’t dissect what was ‘right’ and what was wrong. I OWNED my body and I LOVED my body. I had fun in my body. So what happened between then and now?!

What am I doing to myself right now? What am I pushing myself for?

I’ve been thinking all morning about what I’m doing right now and whether or not it’s a feasible LIFESTYLE. When will I reach a point where I say, “Good job, Stacy, now you’re done and can take it easy”. Truth be told, I don’t think that I will EVER reach that point and that’s simply because I continue to fight myself day in and day out and believe that there’s some notch that I have to hit in order for my world to be peaceful.

I will have to exercise for the rest of my life, but because I want to be healthy and I want to enjoy the activity. I do not want to continue forcing myself to exercise because I feel like I have to in order to fit the mold.

I will have to ‘watch’ what I eat BECAUSE I want to be healthy. I already eat well, so I don’t know why I let this continually nag on me. So what if I had a few bites of cake – do I do that every day? Every week? Every month? NO, I DON’T! I need to evaluate what I want and if I really want it.

I’ve been rethinking this whole diet plan, too. Is it practical to track my ratios? Is this something I can do forever? Is it worth it to me? I’ve been thinking A LOT about going back on Weight Watchers, but some of my concerns were that it’s not enough calories for my activity level, the foods I eat now are ‘clean’ and a little more calorie dense than some of the cheats I used to have before and if going back on the plan would take me back to a heavy carb and low fat and protein diet.

I assume that WW is designed to fit the mold of most people and most people aren’t training for races or doing P90X. They are exercising moderately a few days a week. However, they did account for those working on more intensely, more regularly, by adding activity points. When I was on the plan before, I NEVER ate my APs on the same day I earned them. I was a point hoarder for the weekend. (Perhaps this was the problem…?)

Do I really want to be a slave to any sort of ‘diet’? Whether I’m tracking ratios or points, do I really want to spend my life doing that? Food should be ENJOYABLE especially since we have to eat to survive. I understand that I need to be cautious of what I eat, but to the point of how many points it is or what it’s ratios are?

I started this post feeling pro-“back on WW today!” and now I’m rethinking that entirely. Everything that I’ve ate so far today has been ‘clean’ (minus the Zone bar) and I’m already 19 out of 23 points in. That means with an estimated 4aps, I’m looking at 7 points to cover dinner and an afternoon snack. And per my calorie counter, 19 points is a measly 900 calories. So…each point is an average of 47 calories. I just don’t know if going back on WW is going to be the ‘smartest’ thing for my metabolism.

And oddly enough, I’ve been a hungry hungry hippo today and NOTHING is satisfying me. Probably because all I’ve done so far today is think about what I can and cannot eat and how much I can eat. Uff-da.

What’s your motivation for being healthy and active? What’s your ‘why’? What do you think about diet plans/ratios/tracking?

HAPPY FRIDAY! Have a great weekend!

Botched by office politics

I have a bit of a love hate relationship with Thursdays. I love them because they signify the end of the week is practically here, but I dislike them because it’s also a notification that there is still another day in the work week.

Last Thursday started the same as today, minus the fact that I woke up about 10 minutes late from my usual and typical waking up late time. This morning I was looking forward to Tony’s lengthy, grueling yoga session afterwork. It’s only on the docket 3 more times and for the past few weeks, I have not been following along with the video, but have been going through the routine on my own. Good or bad, verdict is still out. On one hand I feel like I’m a cop out for not doing the video, but on the other, I’m doing it in a way that’s more enjoyable. Today though, I’m going to follow the video and will try not to skip anything. Although the last time I attempted crane I did a summersault into my dresser and now that I’ve made my loft into a gym/office, I don’t know that I want to tango with the staircase railings.

Notice how I said, “I was looking forward…”. Since I started this post, my plans have been botched and instead of a beautiful yoga session, I will be rushing home to tend to the pups and then heading back to work for a banquet. As of yesterday, I decided that I did not want to leave the dogs kenneled all day and then some more in order to go to this shin dig, but throughout today, my guilt has leaned towards not going to the banquet. Guilt is such a bitch.

So yoga will have to be moved to another day. I’m not sure if I can squeeze it in after I get home tonight as I have way too much housework that is the source of stress that I MUST get rid of.

What do you love or dislike about Thursdays?

Ratio, oh ratio, where for art thou my ratio?

Happy hump day!

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend and a great start to the week! Mine was filled with lots of long overdue girl time. One of my besties spent the weekend with me and upon her departure, I got to spend some quality time with some lovely ladies in Nate’s family.

A few weeks ago, I started tracking ratios a little more closely as suggested by a Beachbody Coach. Since I’m doing P90X, my calorie goal is 2000-2499. He suggested that I try and hit 50% protein, 30% carbs and 20% fat. He also suggested that I watch my sodium intake and keep it at 2400mg/day. I’d been an occasional Sparkpeople tracker, but since I’ve been taking a whack at my diet this way, I’ve been using it all the time.

Trying to eat enough is just as hard, if not harder, than trying to eat exactly what you want and how much you want on Weight Watchers. It’s especially hard to hit the calories and ratios just right, and sodium…oh sodium…you sure are sneaky. I have never paid attention to sodium, especially since I barely ever use any extra salt except for sprinkle here or there. I went back a few months ago on Sparkpeople to see what my sodium intake on those days was and holy moly, talk about sodium overload. And this was even when I was eating clear and not eating processed foods!

In terms of calories, I was usually sticking between 1500-1800 per day, which I thought was enough, especially since I’m still trying to lose a few lbs. BUT, I am beginning to think that’s not quite the case.

I’m still trying to work out the kinks and find the best way to get to at least 2000 calories a day, but it’s really tough! I’ve been throwing in an extra protein shake on my way out the door in the morning, but at the end of the day, I’m still 100-200 calories away from where I ‘should’ be with 3 meals and 2-3 snacks throughout the day.

I’m nearing the end of P90X, so I am sure I will need to reevaluate my diet again after that. This ratio seems to be ‘working’ as I don’t feel nearly as puffy as I was feeling before. Let's cross our fingers that I can banish this pesky body fat that I'm trying to squash.

I can't hear myself.

It’s becoming more and more apparent that it’s fall. We’re only a week in today, but I see yards filled with leaves and trees changing colors all over. And the smell… I LOVE the smell of fall. It hits a certain point where you realize that the seasons are changing. This weather makes me want to spend the afternoons outside, meandering and taking everything in. It also makes me want to spend the evenings cozied up inside with comfort food for dinner and lots of blankets and pillows on the couch for snuggling.

You may be wondering how last Friday panned out. After I got home from work and began a frenzied attempt at packing, I badgered my boyfriend for his words of wisdom on whether or not I should workout. After a good 5 minutes of my annoying “Should I workout?!” panic, I got a blunt, “if it’s going to bother you so much, why don’t you just workout?!” So, I did.

I had copied down the routine so I breezed through it on my own, skipping some moves (3 total) and skipped Ab Ripper all together, but I did part of the P90 Ab Ripper. Was I glad I worked out? Yes. Was I frustrated that it got me in such a tizzy that I made myself work out? Yes. Next week, plus a rest week (and by rest there are still 6 days of workouts to complete) and I will be done.

I am still up in arms as to what to do after. I know that I need to give myself some freedom and relax a bit. However, I don’t want to ‘undo’ all my hard work either. I kind of miss doing Jillian Michaels workouts (No More Trouble Zones and Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism - I loved to hate these) and a variety of video workouts all together . At the same time though, I’ve ‘heard’ a lot of women say that it wasn’t until their second round of P90X that they started seeing results. And as if I didn’t already have enough options to contemplate, I’ve thought about going to a HIIT/weight routine.

When it boils down to it, I think the key for me is going to learn how to do what I FEEL like doing, not what I think I have to do. It was gorgeous outside yesterday and despite really wanting to take the pups outside for walks and play time, I felt like I had to do my P90X workout before I could do anything else. But I am dedicated to my ‘goals’ so I also need to understand that I’m hard on myself about not skipping scheduled workouts because I am diligent and focused in what I do.

Moving on…

I’ve fell in love with Peanut Flour from Trader Joes. Like, absolutely in love. Right now I am eating it mixed in with Greek yogurt and a little sweetener..helllllooo creamy peanut buttery protein packed snack. I’ve also been adding it to my protein shakes and it is equally delicious in that. My next creation with it will be pancakes. I’m super excited… For those of you who are PB2 fans, you gotta check this stuff out.

P90X yoga is on the schedule for tonight, but I really am not feeling up to that. Up for Yoga, but 90 minutes of crazy yoga? I'm not so sure.