Life A.M. (after marathon)

Three weeks ago, I was pounding the pavement in the Sunday sunshine and heat. By this time I was probably already wondering why in the hell I ever decided to run a marathon. I was also probably thinking that the idea of a marathon was effing crazy and wondering why my sane brain thought it would be a fun thing to check off the list.

Well, I definitely checked it off the list and the only running I have done since then has been a little running here and there during my Cross Fit workouts.

I am in a better spot than I was before, recognizing that regardless of my time, I accomplished my goal of finishing a marathon. I did something that some people would never dream of doing and something that some people can only dream of doing. And at this point in time, I wouldn't put it past myself to do another one again, eventually...

So what's life like for Stacy, A.M.? Crossfit, Paleo, living.

I am slowing getting my stamina and strength back at Crossfit. It's a little frustrating to go form hitting PRs to lifting 20-30lbs left and having that feel incredibly heavy, but it's coming back. My workouts this week have been great and Wednesday's and Saturday's WODs really made me feel like I'm getting back to where I was.

Paleo. I was definitely off the wagon during the last few months of marathon training. I've been able to keep myself off the grains, but it was the sugar that I was going bonkers over. Fruit, ICE CREAM, potato chips, creamer in my coffee... SUGAR... I was taking the 80/20 rule to a daily basis instead of overall. The week after the marathon, nothing was off limits though. There was pasta post marathon, Subway, Chipotle burrito bowl (WITH RICE), and of course, more ice cream.

As of the 13th, I started another 30 day Paleo challenge and so far so good. It's always impressive how much BETTER I feel in all aspects of my life when I get back to eating this way. This is really just forcing me to cut out the ice cream, the sugar, the late night eating, the excuses. Even on the first day I noticed differences. I FINALLY slept really well and I haven't been able to say that in a long time. My body is looking better, I am consistently sleeping better, I am performing better. Aside from some general grogginess (not sure if that's due to post marathon fatigue and/or diet change and/or Crossfit), I have really been feeling great. A few days after the 30th day, I will be parading around in my swimsuit for the day at a water park. If that's not motivation to keep my ass on track with Paleo, I don't know what is.

When the 30 days is over, the new challenge will be finding a livable balance with my diet. Isn't that always the struggle? To get on the wagon and STAY on the wagon? I definitely think one of the keys to success will be keeping trigger foods (sugar/ice cream) OUT of the house. If I want ice cream, it's going to be special and it's going to come from somewhere and it's going to be gone in one serving.

I also need to work on changing my mindset about 'treats'. I don't deserve to feel like crap from eating junk food because I worked hard in the gym or had a bad day. How many of us are given that excuse or use that excuse? If I worked hard in the gym or had a bad day, don't I deserve something that is going to NOURISH my body, improve my mind/body, make me feel great? Chocolate and ice cream might give me that euphoria, but if I overdo it, I'll just end up with gut rot and guilt.

How do you stay on track? What's your viewpoint on food treats?

Lessons in running a marathon

I wrote this Thursday of last week, but couldn't decide if I wanted to post it or not... and today I decided I did. More to come later on how I am feeling now. :)

June 9th, 2011:
I feel like running half marathons, full marathons and just running in general has become the new fad. It seems like you aren't exercising and you certainly aren't fit if you aren't running all week long.


Running used to be my staple exercise. I remember running daily during college, especially during the summer. Even after college, running was on the exercise agenda on a regular basis, mixed in with exercise videos and cross training at the gym. Running was never for distance, it was just for time, just for fun, just for exercise, just to get moving. Pace didn't matter, route didn't matter. I just ran because I enjoyed it.


But since I started Cross Fit in December, I haven't missed running. AT ALL. So what in the hell gave me the itch to run a marathon?


I honestly don't know.


I feel like everyone I know and their aunt, uncle and second cousin was on this running bandwagon. And not just that, but the marathon bandwagon, too.


My first taste of running races was a 10k with a girlfriend. I remember at the time thinking, "...6 miles?!" and it felt like a really big deal. Towards the end of that race, my girlfriend turned to me and said, "you know that we're going to have to do something bigger after this, right? Like a half marathon?" I laughed it off thinking it will never happen. That was fall of 2009.


Flash forward to spring of 2010 and we were picking out the race, the half marathon to run that summer. We trained, we wondering why we were doing it, we ran the race in the sticks of Minnesota and joked that we would do it again when we were older, with kids, just to prove we still had it. But at this point it time, I had it with running. I was done running because I HAD to.


October comes around and I'm asked to step in for someone else that can't race. At that point, I hadn't trained, RAN, at all. But, I did it. And I liked it. It was such a rush to realize that my body was capable of doing something like that without following an exact training plan nor a training plan at all.


I don't know where it came from, why it came or why I listened to it, but I decided that my Cross Fit goal for 2011 would be to run a marathon. And I wrote it on the board to solidify it.


Now here I am, 4 days post marathon.


I did it. I ran 26.2 miles. I trained for 16 weeks. I experienced over-training and a funky ankle which I tried to remedy by new shoes, different shoes and a newer pair of my old running shoes.


4 days post marathon and I'm not sore at all. The only remnants of the race are a big blister on my big toe and some pretty rough looking ring finger toe nails that I think might fall off.


I should feel proud, elated, ecstatic, right?! Well I don't. Not anymore. I did on Sunday, but I've had a bit of a black cloud hanging over me since Monday evening. I'm not giving myself the love and kudos that I should for doing something insane. Let's be real, running 26.2 miles IS insane.


My black cloud is time. My original goal was to finish in 4:30-4:45. Since I could run a 2:15 half, why couldn't I work to finish a full in twice that amount of time? A few weeks into training, I over trained and started REALLY stressing myself out about my goal time. So, I took it off. I said my goal was to FINISH a marathon. But, in the back of my mind there was a "sub 5 hour" clause in small print.


Well, as far as I know, running a marathon doesn't always create a perfect storm in your favor. I finished in 5:13-5:17 (I can't figure out which is right) And on Sunday, I reached a point where I didn't care about time. I was struggling, I wanted to cry. I couldn't run any faster than I could speed walk and I finally said screw it. I didn't want my marathon memory to be that of me being upset, crying, feeling defeated and completely frustration. I pulled out my headphones and decided to enjoy myself. Take in everything that was around me. The sighs, the sounds, the energy. I was going to speed walk my ass off, run if I could, and ENJOY myself. I did just that. And finished in 5:17.


Now though... I regret. I regret not pushing myself harder. Making myself go faster. But where would that have gotten me? Just like I'll never know the answer to that, I'll also never know whether or not I would have gotten my sub 5hr time or if I would have enjoyed myself anymore. I also don't know that if I got that sub 5 time that I wouldn't be regretting that I didn't push for 430-445.


I shouldn't let those 18 minutes overshadow my experience though.


I wasn't nearly as nervous as I expected I would be. I was fairly cool, calm and collected. When race started and we inched towards the start line, I got tears in my eyes. I was really doing it. I was really going to run a marathon. Tears of pride.


I love that I got to run the race with one of my best friends. We didn't physically run together, but we both ran the marathon and spent ample time together before and after.


I'll never forget the flood of emotions I felt when I saw my Cross Fit gang holding signs and cheering for me. I was literally in tears as I ran by them. They had signs, and cute little flags. That little act of kindness and their excitement for me really meant the world to me. I have only known these people for 6 months. SIX MONTHS! But they came out and cheered me on like family.


Seeing my boyfriend and sorority sister at multiple points after I hit my 'wall', cheering for me, bringing me whatever I needed. Nudging me along. Keeping my spirits up. More flooding emotions there.


Talking to hand fulls of people as we all fought the last 4 miles together. People that I will most likely never see again. People that I created a bond with and their face, out chat, the memory will always be etched in my mind.