Dream wedding...?

For inquiring minds, I bailed on the detox. And by that I mean I CHOSE to end it early. Life needed to relax and I needed to cut ties with the strict rules. I'd be lying if I said I had not/am not struggling a tinge to stay on the yellow brick road of Paleoness. Life happens, right?

Moving right along...

I'm going to change the tone a bit and talk about WEDDINGS!!!

For those of you not aware, I am going to be a MRS. in just 5 months minus 1 day. I can't freaking believe it!!! Where has time went?!?!?!

In preparation for an afternoon of coffee consumption and laziness, I was pulling out some magazines to entertain me.  In the same area were two wedding magazines and The Bride's Essential Wedding Planner Deluxe Edition (aka - Giant Binder that would supposedly instruct one on how to plan a wedding).

FACT: I've paged through each, but I haven't read or taken away squat from either.

I haven't been to many weddings, nor have I been directly involved in a wedding in any way shape or form. Against the cliche of "every little girl dreams of what her wedding will be like", I didn't spend any of my free time dreaming about dresses, centerpieces and 16 piece invitations with a dove that flew out into your face when you opened it.

But, here I am, 5 months out from my wedding and I still don't have those specific visions. All I see is Mr. Soul Mate with me on that day and nothing else really matters. I'm marrying him. I am going to marry my Mr. and be his Mrs. Does anything else really matter?

Maybe if money was infinite for us, I'd feel differently, but even when I think outside our budget, all the glitz and glamor and excessive spending doesn't appeal to me. Well, except for maybe some fancy uplighting. That stuff is super sweet and looks amazing in pictures.

But on October 19th, and the day after, and the week after that and the years after that.... what will matter? The save the dates and invitations that we spent hundreds of dollars on that just got thrown away? The 20 vases we had to buy for the 20 centerpieces that we spent four figures on? The draping that we spent four figures on? The favors that we spent a a couple hundred dollars on that our guests will either throw away, misplace or just plain leave at the venue?

All that stuff won't make our day any more amazing.

I don't know how to plan a wedding the 'right' way and neither does Nate, but we are excited to be planning OUR wedding. OUR celebration. I could care less about the traditional rules and regulations for Wedding game play. I just want to marry this guy!

For 'not knowing' what we are doing, I think our day is going to be pretty kick ass! We spent our money on the important things - venue, photographer, DJ and honeymoon - and we're pinching pennies in all the other areas. We did a lot of work in planning the big pieces early on and have a lot done, we're just patiently waiting for the gates to open and all the small details to trickle in.

I can't freaking wait though!

What is one thing you wish you had done differently with your wedding?
What's one MUST that you have in mind for yours?

The Detox

I love my CF box.  We have this awesome community that supports and rallies each other on. On the Monday that occurred 12 days ago I was venting about how much trouble I was having kicking the sugar (...Snickers Ice Cream Cones...) and asked if anyone was up for a little detox/diet clean up with me. In my mind I was thinking a weeks worth of clean eats just to get back on track, but before I knew it, I was agreeing to the Balanced Bites 21 Day Sugar Detox. 

21 days of clean eating. No grains (was already following that), no fruit (already said byebye), no added sugars, real or fake, (eh.. not so much) and also no dairy (hasn't happened quite yet), no alcohol (verdict is still out).

The first few days (and by days I mean hours) I was excited. Wooowhooo! Clean eating, feeling good, de-bloating...yippie! But then around Thursday I was like, "Oh.... No cocktails tonight? Or Friday? Or Saturday?" I was grumpy for awhile... and then through the weekend...and then through the week.

I am definitely not a weeknight drinker. It feels out of place, unearned, and unhealthy to me. Who knows why, but I feel like cocktail time is reserved specifically for the weekend, most especially Saturday evening. BUT...this week has been ridiculously, stupidly, annoyingly stressful. I have been on edge and anxious all day long each day this week. Last night was especially awful and I didn't know if I wanted to cry, scream or blow something up.

I've been waiting for news all week and I expected for it to arrive yesterday...it did not. I'm mentally exhausted from waiting. I'm exhausted from being anxious and antsy. I'd been mentally plotting about celebrating or sulking yesterday. Enjoying a cocktail in celebration or eating my feelings in sadness. YES... I was planning to blow the detox.

After a week full of this waiting game, I was in rough shape. Cranky, crabby, out right unreasonable. I'm lucky I'm still engaged.

For awhile I was certain that the right thing to do would be to have a cocktail anyways.
Stacy: "Who cares, you're going to blow it when you find out anyways, why not have one now?"
Stacy:"Yeah, why not?!"
Stacy: "Well, you haven't ate since noonish and it's 7 now, so you better wait until you eat and then have a drink."
Stacy: "Wooowhoo!!! Cocktail time!"

After Stacy and I talked it out, we decided that it wasn't worth it. Blowing the 21 day gig was just going to upset me MORE, especially since I am over half way through now. And that silly cocktail wasn't going to do anything for me anyways. I'll still be anxiously waiting for news until it comes.

So. Here I am. 9 days left. Clean from the inside out. I do feel good and I am glad I'm doing this. I just wish I picked a better time to do it. Stress about eating + a generally stressful stint for the time being do not add up quite right for me.

How do you deal with anxiousness and crazy moods? Ladies...I know you've all been there, so don't hold out on me!