Why here but not there, there and there?

There have been multiple times that I have attempted to write up a new post, but get lost in my thoughts, can’t figure out how to say what I want to say or specifically what I want to say and then give up.

I’m often told that I have an incredible amount of self discipline and determination and while I would agree, this aspect of my personality is only evident in certain aspects of my life. There are many things on my plate right now that deserve this sort of attention, but I am struggling to give it. Diet and exercise are near top priority in my life and something that receives attention every single day.

Please note that when I say they are near top priority and receive attention every day, it is NOT in the same way or to the same magnitude as it had been before. Prior to Cross Fit and Paleo, it was an incredibly anxious and worried kind of attention. Constant thought, constant worry. Now, it’s entirely positive. I don’t worry about what I can and cannot eat. I know now what foods make me feel and perform best and choose to eat those. It’s not worrying about what’s the right thing to put in m body and the connotation of the wrong things on the flip side. With exercise, it’s not a guessing game. My workouts are decided for me and all I need to do is show up and give it all I have. I just do it and know that it’s working.

From the outside, you might think, “if she’s got this together, she’s got the rest together, too!” Not so much…

Unless the floor is a hamper, I don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper.

You should see my closet right now. In an attempt to de-clutter, I’ve just cluttered my closet with a giant bin of clothes that need to be donated along with piles of ‘keep?’ and ‘I might want this for…’

Money management…while it’s not as bad as it could be, it’s certainly not the level of budgeting and discipline I feel it should be. I like to blame it on Christmas and Xcel energy, but it might be me. In my own defense however, I am pushing myself to use a budgeted cash envelope system. I have envelopes for everything other than bills – groceries and dog food. Gas still comes from the debit card, just because that is easiest and because I don’t go around buying gas like it’s going out of style. I first attempted this with January, but that blew up in my face due to a strong need to bake (more about that later). But, February is looking to be on track.

So in all the above instances, why can’t I apply my determination and diligence to these tasks? Why is it so much easier for me to left these things unfinished and a little sloppy?

Do any of you experience the same in aspects of your life?